Story & Photos by Marianne Salza
In today’s optimization culture of obsessively maximizing efficiency, continuous self-improvement, and perfectionism, clinical psychologist, Sharon Chirban, Ph.D., reminds clients of the importance of remaining grounded and present.
“I think there is a lot of reinforcement in our culture to be strong, white-knuckled, to get up at 5AM, and do more. We often use harsh language with ourselves,” acknowledged Chirban, who believes that striving for excellence can be a source of stress.
During Chirban’s Beacon Hill Women’s Forum (BHWF) presentation, “Building Sustained Excellence,” at The Union Club of Boston, on January 13, the executive coach encouraged building healthy, personal routines to prevent burn-outs.
Whether someone is a billionaire entrepreneur in search of his or her next pursuit, a prestigious athlete training for the Olympics, or a medical student completing one’s residency while raising a family in the midst of struggling with an eating disorder, Chirban has reminded her clients that the goal is not perfection, it is presence.
“Wellness is not a protocol,” explained Chirban. “Optimizing the body or mind is not the same as being grounded in yourself. You can have the perfect protocol and still be absent from your own mind.”
Chirban suggests focusing on who one is in his or her own life, what one’s values are, and considering if one’s decisions are based on those values. Pause for a simple moment to check in with oneself about what is meaningful, creating a space for one’s purpose.
“My definition of self-care is setting boundaries and having meaningful connections in personal relationships or a community,” described Chirban. “A place where you can hold onto your own mind and breathe.”
Chirban believes that anything can be a grounding moment.
“The piano is a place where I put no goals or expectations. I clearly have things that I am working on; but I feel like I need space in my life that I have no achievement expectations,” Chirban shared. “If I can start my day with my espresso and 30-40 minutes on the piano, it feels really grounding. It has nothing to do with the news, or my case load, or the people in my life. It’s just a space to locate myself versus focusing outwards.”
Chirban’s final element in being grounded is having an anchor statement, which, like a mantra, can be can be said to bring one back to oneself.
“The anchor isn’t meant to motivate – it’s meant to locate,” Chirban emphasized. “We’re in such a high-motivation culture.”
Since 2000, Chirban’s practice, Amplify Wellness & Performance, LLC, has become a safe and transformative space for individuals excessively perusing achievement: elite athletes, corporate executives, and individuals in high-performance careers.
“We commit sometimes with a blind passion, and hold ourselves to these excessive standards,” reflected Chirban. “I think there is a tendency in high-performers to take things too far.”
Chirban has served in roles at Harvard Medical School, Boston Children’s Hospital Sports Medicine Division, Boston Ballet, National Basketball Players Association, and Harvard Track & Field.
The sports psychologist has treated athletes confronting post-concussion syndrome, ACL (anterior cruciate ligament) injuries, post- surgical rehabilitation, and the complex emotions of athlete career transitions.
“I get to work with super interesting people,” said Chirban. “I am drawn to highly-motivated people who don’t have it figured out.”