Photos & Story by Marianne Salza
Associate editor for The Boston Globe, Meredith Goldstein, presented “Love in the Modern Age: Insights from an Advice Columnist” during the February 10 Beacon Hill Women’s Forum at The Union Club of Boston. The feature writer shared her relationship perspectives, and how her work has changed in this digital age since she began her “Love Letters” column, and later, podcast, in 2009.
“Opinions I have have radically changed. Back then, I was like, ‘Be polite. You can’t ask someone out by text,’ and now I would say, ‘Call them? They’re going to think there’s an emergency,’” exclaimed Goldstein. “The boundaries and the way people talk have changed so much.”
Born in New Jersey and raised in Maryland, Goldstein attended Syracuse University, where she met many people with ties to Boston. Their love for their home, and investment in the city’s news coverage attracted Goldstein.
At the difficult time when Goldstein began her journalism career, organizations were starting to shrink; but she convinced The Boston Globe of the value in the topic of love. For hundreds of years, advice columns have been historical commentary on the dynamics of domestic life and relationships.
“Love Letters” was one of the first features in The Boston Globe to be reverse published: questions were posted and commented on first, and then published in print.
“The internet is a meaner, scarier place now, but it can also be wonderful,” admitted Goldstein. “2009 was a beautiful time. When we first started ‘Love Letters’ I would post a question, and people would comment, but we were manually approving the comments. Then it became automated. Some days I think we should go back.”
The “Love Letters” storytelling podcast highlights the unique experience of individual stories and has become popular, with the majority of listeners being women between the ages of 25-45. Fifty-percent or more of guest speakers are coupled, but some are single. Goldstein hopes to share a broad range of stories from people of all ages.
“I think couples are looking for virtual community through a podcast, a parasocial relationship with people they don’t know, and answers on how to keep their lives bigger,” said Goldstein.
Considering the comments that she receives from wives mentioning that “Love Letters” is the first column their husbands read in the morning, and from men who do not yet accept themselves as her demographic, Goldstein estimates that readers of her column are predominantly male between the ages of 55-70.
“This excites me,” embraced Goldstein. “I also think there’s some sexism and misogyny. I think, back in the day, there was some assumption that it wasn’t important. In 2026, I don’t face that anymore. I think everybody at The Boston Globe thinks there are more important things than ‘Love Letters’ but understands how love and how we love each other is tied to everything.”
Topics range from the loneliness epidemic, health insurance laws, public policy, and finances, to break-ups and lessons learned, as well as gender, infidelity, relationship structure, privacy, happiness, and the search for love.
“I happen to think there’s a ‘Love Letters’ story on every person’s beat,” said Goldstein, who compared the week leading up to Valentine’s Day to her Super Bowl.
Goldstein recalled having read an early 20th century Yiddish advice column based in New York. Some issues, like suddenly stopping communication – referred to as ghosting today – are relatable at any time in history.
Social media-related problems; however, are different. With the prominence of remote work, people often have difficulty connecting.
“Feeling lonely because the internet tells you you are lacking is a problem,” Goldstein stressed. “When apps became the primary way people were dating, what I saw was a level of dating fatigue that I felt was like a health condition. People would say to me, ‘I’m so tired, but I feel like if I don’t swipe all night, I could be missing someone.”
Goldstein, who has been reporting on love for 17 years, considers herself to be a more passive advice columnist who will ask a guest how he or she feels about a relationship, basing her response on the fragment of relationship information she receives.
“Universally, loss is horrible. Grief is hard,” Goldstein explained about a common theme she observes. “A lot of people now don’t know if they’re doing okay. This has long been a thing. There’s not a lot that celebrates what we have, and that can skew our perspective of all the great things we have.”
In addition to her successful “Love Letters” column, Goldstein – who lives in Boston with a collection of romance books and a cotton candy machine — is the author of young adult novels, “Chemistry Lessons,” and “Things that Grow,” as well as the memoir, “Can’t Help Myself: Lessons and Confessions from a Modern Advice Columnist.”
Read or submit to Meredith Goldstein’s “Love Letters” column by visiting Boston.com/LoveLetters.